Rant O' th' Day

(heavy Brooklyn accent) Talk amongst yourselves…let me give you a topic…Human Resources is neither human nor a resource. Discuss.

One of the many ways I resent the heck out of the established corporate oligarchy is how it has effectively and pervasively fucked up English. Pardon my French.

We have so many wonderful words in English, yet the Corpofascist regime insists upon inventing new (and not so improved) ways of saying things. Actually, that is pretty much what they do – keep us perpetually in a fog as to what they are really saying and doing. Of course we all love their little slogans and we repeat them with resolute glee. Don't I sound educated? (Yeah, to a three year old you fuck wit, you actually sound like a right prick).

Let me give you an example that chaps my ass regularly. There once were Personnel Departments. That's pretty straight forward; just by the name you can tell what they do. Personnel manages people (persons). I'm a person, she's a person, we're all persons. Then some corporate half wit decided the word had to be changed and came up with the term "human resources". I hate the term. I never say it unless it is in a disparaging context.

I am not a "human resource"; I am a person. Let's define the words "person" and "resource", shall we?

A person is an individual of inherent value. The value of a person is immeasurable. A person has rights and responsibilities. A person exists outside and beyond what he does for a living or what he directly contributes.

A resource is generally a raw material. It is something of no intrinsic value, yet once utilized it can be of measured value. A resource is an inanimate object with no rights or responsibilities. A resource only exists as long as it is deemed of value.

One cannot put the words "human" and "resource" together to describe anything unless one is describing a physical resource of value to humankind, otherwise it is an oxymoron, and the person responsible for this insidious term is indeed a "moron". To say that human beings are important to other people is superfluous. Actually, it's just plain stupid.

Instead, what the term really means is that the corporate mentality (or philosophy if you prefer) sees humanity merely as a resource! Now that's some scary shit. But it does help explain how they have no qualms using our brave men and women in uniform as cannon fodder to increase their already astounding profits.

Fuckers.

(Props to my man, George Carlin)